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Sunday, 17 June 2018

Dating for dummies




If you are a young lad and are in a time in your life when it feels like the right time to get 'hooked' as many would call it, then you should consider these things I am going to say in few words.

What are they saying?

Dating has been given a lot of definitions both by experts and dummies like yourself. Some have said it is a period where you get to know the one with whom you have decided to get hitched. Others consider it as the 'going-to-the-restaurant' season of the relationship, where you talk about random stuffs. They believe it is in this time the guy sees if the girl is able to use the cutleries, vis a vis. These are the usual responses you get from friends and people who care to give their opinion. For all kinds of definitions, the purpose for dating has been to see if the person is a suitable partner for a romantic relationship leading to marriage.



Why all the name calling?

By 'dummies' I do not intend it for an insult of any sort. It is just a term used these days to show one who is stepping into a phase or knowledge they don't have prior understanding of. You and I may have taken a couple of words out of context. It is okay. But let's start using the dictionary to know the meaning of words for what they represent and not for what society has made them. Just like dating doesn't translate "being in a relationship," we should know that the word "dummy" doesn't mean an insult. 
This is who you are, at least, until you finish reading this article. Moreover, I am not the first person to call you this. 
Joy Browne, the author of Dating for Dummies, found the word a suitable one for people who are looking to step into the dating arena for the first time. She believes that dating doesn't have to be "nerve-wracking," but one has to be equipped with the right information while stepping into it.



Why do we bother?

Dating is important because no one intends to jump into a river without first considering whether or not there are predators. It is always important that you look before you leap. You should enquire about your prospective partner and get to know if you can deal with their baggage.
According to Joy Browne "You must do some up-front soul searching to make sure you’re ready to be honest, open, and attentive. You need a strong sense of your dating expectations so you can clearly communicate what you’re looking for without setting the bar so high that no one can clear it. You must be cautious about how and where you meet potential dates, especially if you’re looking online. And you should remember that a date is just a date — and it can actually be fun! Whether your long-term goal is to get married and start a family or to set sail around the world in a sailboat built for two, you start in the same place: on a first date."

Love at first sight?

There is no such thing as love at first sight. There are people you have met, and at first sight, you are attracted to them; that isn't love. "Na when dem show you their true colour na that time we go know whether na love or na infatuation." That came out fine right?
Do not be deceived, it is always wise to speak with those you perceive as knowledgeable in this dating thing before you jump at it. And also, be wise not to base your expectations on the experiences of others. Remember the words of Joy Browne:"Remember that a date is just a date, and it can be fun."

Remember I am @andreyyte on Instagram and Twitter. Leave me your comments. I am always glad reading them.

5 comments:

HotplateNaija said...

Nice write up.... 🌠🌠

Andrew said...

Thanks Tosin. I do appreciate the kind words. Share your thoughts on Dating

Joy Iwetan said...

I agree. A date is just a date, just have fun. Dating requires openness and all of "you". By all of you I meant that not someone else you read in a book, not a myriad list of "the right-things to do when dating", and I must say, not even your beloved friends' experiences.
I think when we are without expectation of how he/she should be, we are indeed interested to know them☺. And thereupon, can choose to sail on into marriage or play on within the reef.

Andrew said...

This is a profound truth: "when we are without expectations of how he/she should be, we are indeed interested to know them." Thanks for sharing your thoughts Joy.

Unknown said...

I think when we are without expectation of how he/she should be, we are indeed interested to know them....that's true @Joy.....nice write-up Andy, keep it up. I love the Nigerian Pidgin touch in it😊