So Sunday was a great day for me and a whole lot of you too. I enjoyed the service and the after-church meetings. As usual, there are three services of which I recently started attending just the second and third because I needed more time for rest after the week's up-and-down journeying, especially Saturday's hustling and bustling.
I have been away from home for a while now and since this year began, I haven't seen my mom, so yesterday, being the only day I am usually free from every work there is, I wanted to see mommy, so I left church for a bit and hurried home to see her. As I got off the Okada, Mommy wouldn't stop singing ''baba oyoyo.'' I, on the other hand couldn't stop laughing. She really did miss me. I sat next to her and we got talking about stuffs.
We talked about a lot: how her business has been, how my trip to Benin went, how my siblings are fairing and how the neighbours are treating her and a whole lot of other things mothers would always talk about.
Not quite long into the conversation, she hit me with the ''when are you going to get married'' question. I was startled. To think that my mom had been thinking about my getting married was scary a thing to believe. Reason is because she barely worries about my relationship life. She almost doesn't ask questions in that direction, so I wasn't in anyway going to predict this day, but somehow she had been influenced along the line. . I didn't think this day was going to come soon because my mom is quite a different one and she barely interferes with stuffs as this. It got me to think in the light of how old I had become. It reminded me of the supposed deadline. It almost felt like she was indirectly telling me that sooner than later, she needs to meet with whoever the lady is. For me, getting married isn't even in the list but now she got me to think of it.
''You and your elder brother don't want to give me a child to call my grand child abi?'' she said, with that face that mothers normally put on to make you feel guilty for a sin you didn't commit. I laughed at her and quickly, I raised a question that took her mind off the issue. It is a fearing something oo... I didn't see it coming. Today, I believe something has gotten into her. For her to have thought it wise to ask...
I have a list of goals I intend to achieve of which marriage isn't even a part of and I also know that you too at some point either passed through this phase or are presently in this phase with me. I definitely do not care what my mom thinks about that part of my life; at least not now. I stand to be scolded but that doesn't count, not any more. There is no rushing for me.
You shouldn't always listen to what your parents say especially when you perceive you have come close to that moment where they look at you and can't stop wishing that you got married, even when it is something you barely want to think of (for ladies and gentle men who have great plans that they intend to attain to before marriage) at the moment.
The ladies are usually the ones confronted with this and some end up succumbing to the pressure and in the long-run, the same marriage they're supposed to enjoy, turns into something they want a holiday from.
I know our parents want the best for us but more important it is, that we get it right. Your mother might only be around when you are nursing the child and that's all. She won't be there to help you ''tolerate'' the man (that is, when you jump into the marriage solely for the reason being to ''produce'' grand children for your mommy). The question is when you are done with that duty, what would be next?'' your answer to this question would determine whether or not the child would enjoy a peaceful home.
What I admonish is that, take your time and inhale all there is about life and get on with your goals and soon enough, a partner would breeze into the picture and you won't need to adjust to accomodate that partner. He/she would just fit into the whole goal you have set. For ladies, don't be disturbed about menopause or guy-opause, you should remember you serve the author of TIME.
Mama would always be there to carry your children, so don't fret and like Janette_ikz would say, I need you to have the I-don't-care attitude about your biological time.
Enjoy your life and achieve your goals.
The men do not suffer much pressure as the ladies do but the advice also applies to them.
It is okay to think and believe the part of the scripture that says ''he that finds a wife, finds a good thing and obtains favour from the lord'' but that shouldn't be an excuse for your inability to provide for your home. The bible you often quote to soothe your shortcomings also refers to a man who cannot provide for his home as ''worse than an infidel.'' So set goals and do all you can to see that you achieve those goals. A wife would glide into the picture to make it whole. If there is no picture to fit in, then the ''whole'' is likely to come when the child has endured a whole lot of unstableness which happens not to be ideal.
Thanks for reading and stay blessed!
Andreyytesblog!
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